


The Second One Hundred Things

by Leletha



Series: Centuries [2]
Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-10
Updated: 2013-07-10
Packaged: 2017-12-18 08:17:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/877614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Leletha/pseuds/Leletha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It continues! One hundred more things we've learned from Doctor Who, from even more episodes, books, audiodramas, spin-off series, and good ol' classic days!</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Second One Hundred Things

_(ONE HUNDRED AND…) ONE:_ The Doctor lies.

_…TWO:_ Trust him _anyway_.

… _THREE:_ Love and loss are universal.

… _FOUR:_ Unexpected candy can derail anyone’s train of thought.

… _FIVE:_ Count the shadows.

… _SIX:_ Down is relative.

… _SEVEN:_ So are dead, time, dimensions, safe, and pretty.

… _EIGHT:_ If something can be remembered, it can become real.

… _NINE:_ This should be sufficient incentive for _Doctor Who_ fans to remember as much as possible. You know, just in case this actually works.

… _TEN:_ Never ignore a coincidence, unless you’re really busy.

… _ELEVEN:_ Names are important.

… _TWELVE:_ You can save the universe with a megaphone—or at least postpone its destruction by thirty minutes.

… _THIRTEEN:_ Never pass up a little extra time.

… _FOURTEEN:_ If the Doctor says, “There’s only one of me, I counted,” remember Rule One. There are, to date, eleven of him.

… _FIFTEEN:_ Biting’s excellent; it’s like kissing, only there’s a winner.

… _SIXTEEN:_ The TARDIS doesn’t go wrong; she just disagrees with the Doctor’s choice of destinations.

… _SEVENTEEN:_ If warning lights never stop, they must be the things that are broken.

… _EIGHTEEN:_ As unbelievable as it seems, not all police boxes are actually the TARDIS.

… _NINETEEN:_ If you’re going to sing to a shark, be good at it. If you do it wrong, you probably won’t get a second try.

… _TWENTY:_ The Doctor should never be allowed to have crayons.

… _TWENTY_ - _ONE:_ Or party noisemakers. Ever. Really.

_…TWENTY-TWO:_ Wandering off is essential to the plot, but you still shouldn’t do it.

_…TWENTY-THREE:_ There are degrees of impossibility, ranked depending on the amount of time it takes to actually do the impossible thing.

… _TWENTY-FOUR:_ Good wizards in fairy tales always turn out to be the Doctor, except for the times when he’s the monster.

… _TWENTY-FIVE:_ Ice can burn. Sofas can read. And buses can fly. It’s a big universe.

… _TWENTY-SIX:_ Kindness and cruelty can sometimes look distressingly similar.

… _TWENTY-SEVEN:_ There isn’t a manual for anything actually difficult.

… _TWENTY-EIGHT:_ Sometimes this is because the manual got tossed into a supernova, but that’s beside the point.

… _TWENTY-NINE:_ The Doctor is worse than everybody’s aunt. He’s actually worse than a whole lot of people, so he’s pretty much guaranteed to be worse than your aunt.

… _THIRTY:_ If you don’t know what a device does, point it at someone you don’t like and then try pushing buttons. Or at a Dalek; Daleks stand up to everything, so you’ll probably get a second go.

… _THIRTY-ONE:_ Destiny is EITHER the art of throwing darts at random and pretending that whatever you hit was the target, or the name for what happens when you steal River’s diary and peek at the answers.

… _THIRTY-TWO:_ There’s a time and a place for everything. Well, most things. Well, some things. Well, a few things, anyway.

… _THIRTY-THREE:_ Sometimes miracles happen.

… _THIRTY-FOUR:_ And then sometimes the miracles are just people being extremely clever, but _that will do, dammit!_

… _THIRTY-FIVE:_ It is possible to short out the psychic paper.

… _THIRTY-SIX:_ It is also possible to leave the universe, but only with enormous difficulty and inconvenient consequences.

… _THIRTY-SEVEN:_ You can have a swimming pool in a library, but probably not for very long.

… _THIRTY-EIGHT:_ River has apparently pilfered everything Jack Harkness has ever owned or used. An actual meeting between the two would probably end the universe. Again.

… _THIRTY-NINE:_ There are two kinds of people in the world. People who panic—and people who panic later, at more convenient moments.

… _FORTY:_ Dying and turning into a Roman can be very distracting.

… _FORTY-ONE:_ Pushing on a door marked pull only works if you’re the Doctor. And only if it’s the TARDIS door.

… _FORTY-TWO:_ There’s a word for the smell of dust after rain, and it needs to be used at every possible opportunity.

… _FORTY-THREE:_ Fezzes are clearly evil.

… _FORTY-FOUR:_ Stetsons actually are cool.

… _FORTY-FIVE:_ If you’re planning to defeat the Doctor, never let him talk.

… _FORTY-SIX:_ But if you’re not, then listen when the Doctor talks, because someone has to—he sure doesn’t.

… _FORTY-SEVEN:_ There’s always a way out. Sometimes it’s by cheating shamelessly.

… _FORTY-EIGHT:_ Never put the Doctor in a trap. He doesn’t like them, but he is very good at getting out of them. And coming after the idiots who tried trapping him.

… _FORTY-NINE:_ If you’re going to invent, design, and deploy a super-weapon, don’t give it the ability to fall in love with its target.

… _FIFTY:_ Everyone falls in love with the Doctor. It doesn’t matter who you are. It’s a function of who he is.

… _FIFTY-ONE:_ Time can be rewritten, and correspondingly unwritten.

… _FIFTY-TWO:_ Do not try this at home.

… _FIFTY-THREE:_ The definition of ‘vampire’ is extremely loose. Things that work in the movies aren’t necessarily going to work on, say, fish from space.

… _FIFTY-FOUR:_ The above term is fun to yell at any vampire-oriented fandom of which _Doctor Who_ fans do not approve. Not to name any names, ‘cause there are options.

… _FIFTY-FIVE:_ Silurians are not dinosaurs, so there STILL aren’t any dinosaurs at the center of the earth. No, there really aren’t.

… _FIFTY-SIX:_ Read the fine print, it’s important.

… _FIFTY-SEVEN:_ The quality of ‘badass’ can be found in the most unexpected people. Grandfathers. Nurses. Young recruits in massive space armies. Homebody new dads. Anyone.

… _FIFTY-EIGHT:_ The Doctor can drive anything, but not necessarily very well.

… _FIFTY-NINE:_ People who ask questions with obvious answers deserve to be given the wrong ones.

… _SIXTY:_ Power-hungry megalomaniacs exist in all species, cultures, and times.

… _SIXTY-ONE:_ Time Lords _can_ change gender during regeneration, which is definitely a Thought with Potential. Especially for those of us who are holding out for a female Doctor, and may or may not be drooling slightly.

… _SIXTY-TWO:_ No matter what, don’t wake the baby.

… _SIXTY-THREE:_ Uttering the phrase ‘what could possibly go wrong’ will _automatically_ _and consistently_ cause things to fail catastrophically, blow up, fall apart, or violently attack the speaker and/or his or her companions.

… _SIXTY-FOUR:_ Occasionally it just takes too much time to explain things properly, so a short and meaningless explanation will do nicely. This explains phrases like ‘spacy-wacy’, ‘stuff’, ‘thing’ and ‘reversing the polarity’.

… _SIXTY-FIVE:_ Very little, if anything, is what it seems.

… _SIXTY-SIX:_ Some things, generally the important ones, just are that simple, though.

_…SIXTY-SEVEN:_ If you go looking for trouble, expect to find it when you’re least expecting it, or that it will find you.

… _SIXTY-EIGHT:_ The situation does not get much worse than ‘normal’.

… _SIXTY-NINE:_ Mysterious strangers are not _necessarily_ aliens.

… _SEVENTY:_ Always check the water. Just in case. Then check it again.

… _SEVENTY-ONE:_ Given the slightest opportunity to steal a vehicle, the Doctor will _always_ steal the biggest and/or the most ridiculous one around, which probably makes a loud and repetitive noise in the bargain.

… _SEVENTY-TWO:_ If you have to ask “Are you okay?” then the answer is no.

… _SEVENTY-THREE:_ It’s more important for your shoes to be practical—especially easy to run in—than for them to match the rest of your clothes.

… _SEVENTY-FOUR:_ Always respect people who can wear silly outfits and still be intimidating.

… _SEVENTY-FIVE:_ Sometimes, the Doctor needs kicking. Hard. It’s not fun but it is necessary.

… _SEVENTY-SIX:_ If you intend to find something again, don’t turn it invisible.

… _SEVENTY-SEVEN:_ All ships are basically the same.

… _SEVENTY-EIGHT:_ The Doctor, sober, sounds exactly like everyone else, drunk.

… _SEVENTY-NINE:_ Many legends have a basis in fact; contrariwise, many facts get turned into legends.

… _EIGHTY:_ Everyone wants to be forgiven for something at some point in their lives.

… _EIGHTY-ONE:_ The silly hats are not actually mandatory.

… _EIGHTY-TWO:_ The TARDIS can archive things that don’t exist yet.

… _EIGHTY-THREE:_ Getting separated in a crisis situation continues to be a Bad Idea.

… _EIGHTY-FOUR:_ Things don’t always happen in what humans think of as the ‘right order’.

… _EIGHTY-FIVE:_ People are people no matter what they’re made of.

… _EIGHTY-SIX:_ Never make Rory repeat a question.

… _EIGHTY-SEVEN:_ Secrets never stay hidden.

… _EIGHTY-EIGHT:_ Life is, despite all evidence to the contrary, rare and precious and wonderful.

… _EIGHTY-NINE:_ The more user-friendly an advancement in technology or science, the more dangerous it is when it becomes _un_ friendly.

… _NINETY:_ Time is not the boss of you.

… _NINETY-ONE:_ Never knowingly be serious.

… _NINETY-TWO:_ Killer robots are NEVER A GOOD IDEA. REALLY. NEVER.

… _NINETY-THREE:_ Psychology wins battles that guns can’t touch.

… _NINETY-FOUR:_ Pandaphobia is not the fear of pandas. At least, not specifically of pandas. And may in fact be spelled pantephobia.

… _NINETY-FIVE:_ Small children can be extremely spooky.

… _NINETY-SIX:_ Survive. Because someone _is_ going to come for you.

… _NINETY-SEVEN:_ Faith can kill as surely as fear.

… _NINETY-EIGHT:_ Coincidence is what the universe does for fun.

… _NINETY-NINE:_ Learn to pretend—and do it _damn well_.

_TWO HUNDRED:_ We’re all stories, in the end, and some stories never end.

* * *

**(To be continued some weekend when I have time.)**


End file.
